you first

 Place your own face mask on before helping another passenger.

Around this time in 2020 (late may) , The hubbs was home from the hospital. Four months into his chemo and radiation treatment we were getting into a routine that felt "normal". He was getting used to the chemo that was running in him 24/7 through his pump. No side effects so far but he was very sleepy between pain meds and fighting the good fight.

My shifts at the hospital were 8 hours but easily turned into close to 10 sometimes. Even though, in the beginning, he was still independent, I was obsessively focused on him. Calling him every other hour just to make sure he took his meds or asking about pain or did you eat.

COVID was still raging, so I couldn't ask our friends/family to babysit him at home. Even though he didn't need one, I was focused on being a good caregiver. 

I neglected myself, during the worst of this... I stopped running, hadn't gone to the gym, gained 20 pounds, I wasn't journaling, sometimes forgetting to even brush my own teeth (gross I know).

I would eventually hit a wall. I wasn't taking care of myself.

When you fly, the safety instructions are to place your mask on yourself first before helping out another passenger. You still gotta breathe. If you aren't getting oxygen, you aren't able to help anyone else, let alone, yourself. 

Self care and making sure I met my needs helped me be a better caregiver for the time I had left with my husband and I'm glad I didn't make those changes too late. It isn't selfish. If anything, I was better to him for taking care of myself. 

Put your own mask on first